I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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