Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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