It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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