fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
