my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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