I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Screwed.edu
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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