I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
