dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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