If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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