It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
