The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Rumble strips road head = magical
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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