trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I came so hard my ears popped.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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