i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
