you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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