I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize