Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
