The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize