end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
