no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
