Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I look better un-naked...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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