Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
