You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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