TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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