my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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