i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
