She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
