im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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