Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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