I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
