Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
