I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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