I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
