We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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