I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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