I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
