why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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