Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My brain says no but my pants say off.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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