allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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