it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
