break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
