I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
sarcasm needs its own font
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
