you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
