Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
