dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
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Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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