She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
