Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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