I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
