So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
PANTIES FOUND
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
