In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize