I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i will never coherently bang her
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
