dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
