Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
