3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
