i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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